do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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