So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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