it hurts more in the daytime
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
