true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
