So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
