I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize