So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
stop calling my apartment porn island.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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