Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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