Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize