Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
