was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
