Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
