D3 body, D1 cock
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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