one might say we're banned from that church
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
