well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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