Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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