omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
