you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
