she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
