you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
