I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize