I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
