on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
