we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
