I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
