I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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