break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
