Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
