yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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