Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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