apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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