Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
