I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
