Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize