had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
