is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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