Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
