im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
