I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
