.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
