Don't you send me to vm
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
