I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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