he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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