He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
