Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize