During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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