I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
