Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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