What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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