Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
