trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
