you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
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Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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