He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
