good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
