Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
