Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
