why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Randomize
