i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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