fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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