So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Randomize
