If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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