Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
