If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
