You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
