Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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