ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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